Good grief it is cold in here! Our furnace was broken this morning and we had to have a repairman come and fix it so that we didn’t freeze out of our apartment (for those of you back in CA let me just remind you- I’m in Utah and it is currently 20 degrees outside…). However it’s fixed now so I’m probably cold as more of a reaction to being tired than actual coldness.

So, I’ve decided I’m definitely a fan of online shopping. It’s easy to price compare, I don’t have to leave my desk, it comes right to me, I can shop in the middle of the night if I so choose, I don’t have to deal with people trying to talk me into different things. I can do it while doing several other things. Really, I think it is fabulous. The only problem is that it is so very available to me. Since the beginning of the semester I have bought:

• My 30GB iPod Video
• A Train CD *which hasn’t come yet- murmur*
• My own domain name and web hosting (http://www.techiechic.net check it out. Right now all that’s up is a class assignment for my CHum 490 class that doesn’t have working links or anything but it’s there and it’s mine. If you want to check out something cool on my page go to http://www.techiechic.net/ – In addition to the random countdowns at the beginning of the page (another CHum assignment) the links at the bottom are for Divine Comedy videos. If you right click the link and choose “Save as” and save the link as a .mov you can import the files into iTunes and from there onto an iPod. I made it for myself but I would like anyone to be able to benefit from it.)
• An iPod case
• Glasses

Yeah, that’s right, tonight I actually bought a pair of glasses online. That seemed a little bit risky to me but I really think it’s going to be just fine… just weird that I could actually do it yaknow? I was way excited because they’re exactly the ones I wanted but for a way better price than I bought them for last year (don’t ask… after paying an arm and a leg for them I left them in Beijing… SO mad at myself!). So I’m really excited. I hope they come before I leave on tour so that I have them for tour. Then I can really just sit in the back of the van with my glasses, iPod, neck pillow and a book. That should keep people from bugging me don’t you think? I mean what could say “leave me alone” better than that? Anyways, there’s my confession for the night.

In other news, tonight was opening night for the Young Ambassadors and I think it went really well. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for 3 years now. I can still remember retreat from my freshman year so vividly- and now I’m a senior and it’s all old hat. Just wild to think about how far I’ve come. I was thinking about that as I was walking home from the DeJong tonight (yes I was walking by myself, and no, no one attacked me, if they did I think they would be in for a rude surprise as I think I’m probably one of the more heavier armed girls on campus- I’m even more heavily armed than the BYU rent-a-cops so… yeah not too concerned). I am such a different person from the techie girl I was my freshman year. I hope in a good way. I guess there’s probably some of both. I’m definitely a lot less naive than I was back then. I was definitely a starry eyed dreamer back then who saw the world through rose colored glasses. I’ve had a few reality checks since then and I think I’m a lot more realistic now. Maybe borderline pessimistic at times in certain situations but I like to think I’m still optimistic and positive most of the time. I was a little too trusting, a little too naive and I think overall it’s just been part of growing up. I’m not quite as enthusiastic as I once was, for good and bad. I think I was enthusiastic to the point of being a little over-zealous and driving people a little bit crazy. I’ve kinda noticed that this year as one of our new freshman is a little over-enthusiastic and has a tendency to drive me a little bit crazy. I love him to death, but it’s just that over-zealousness of “hey, we have to all do this and team-build and etc etc.” Too many years has taught me that techies and performers are just different. Not bad different, just different. I love our performers, but when push comes to shove, I’m so grateful to have the tech van and be around people who are a little bit more practical, and down to earth and like me. Of course, all of those sound a little bit negative and I don’t think they’ve all been negative changes. There are many things I’ve learned from Young Ambassadors that have been profoundly positive. I think I’ve become less proud and better at being a lady. There was definitely a point when I wouldn’t ask a guy for help to save my life. No freaking way, I can open my own doors and carry this bag that’s three times my size etc etc etc. I’m still not really good at that, but I’ve gotten a ton better at accepting that maybe there are some things I can’t do, and that guys should act like gentlemen. I still try to hard to prove myself but I think I’m doing a lot better than I was. I’ve also learned to make myself more presentable. This sounds way superficial, but it’s true, and I don’t think it’s been totally negative. I mean, I still will not wear the heels of death solely for fashion’s sake. However I do care what I wear and whether I look like I could be representative of the Young Ambassadors. I actually dry my hair before school (which is definitely an improvement from high school, and most of my freshman year), and about half of the time I have my hair curled and I’ve even been known to wear makeup to school (*I’ll wait while those of you who have known me since high school pick yourselves up off the floor*). My testimony has grown infinitely stronger. I love being a part of this work. I mean, to most people we’re just a performing group that does a little singing and dancing with a BYU logo on our jackets. It’s SO much more than that. Hopefully that’s the one thing that doesn’t fade is the sense of mission I got from that first night at retreat. It’s all about lifting others and sharing our testimonies through all that we do.

Well, anyways, just a confession and some thoughts that I’d had on my way home tonight.