Eric and I were driving up to Brighton on Friday night and he told me about some advice that his mom had given him. He said she’d told him to write down all the reasons he loves me now, so that he doesn’t forget some day. I’d been feeling like that was something that I ought to do too. Not because I’m worried that I’ll forget, but mostly because I’m not always the best at telling him. He deserves to know all the amazing things I see in him. Also, he’s made comments about him not doing for me what I do for him, which is ridiculous, but I’m not good at coming up with the things he’s done for me on the spot. So, today while I was waiting for a bishop’s interview I tried to write out things Eric has done for me and reasons why I love him.
I love that he is strong in the gospel. It’s really cool to watch him because you can tell that he knows what is right, and then he goes for it. Regardless of how much logical sense it may or may not make to an outside observer, he’s strong enough to just go for it. Which kind of ties into the next one… He’s very spiritually in tune. He knows how to get answers from the Lord and he’s not ashamed to ask for them. Even more so, once he gets his answer, he’s so sure of it that nothing can stop him from doing what he knows to be right.
I love how intelligent and accomplished he is. Seriously, he is crazy smart. He was technically a valedictorian at his high school and was selected to work for the church’s network support department as a freshman in college. He’s super talented when it comes to the violin (no joke, he’s so incredible I can’t do it justice in words. Let’s just say that he played for my family while he was in California and… *melt*). But that’s not the totally cool part. I love that he can do all of that and I am seriously in awe, but what keeps amazing me is that he can be so smart, and still be so respectful towards me. I’ve never been smart like that. I learn things quick and I’m not an idiot, but I’ve never had those kinds of skills or outer intelligence. I say a lot of things that are dumb and I sometimes try to come up with explanations and I don’t quite get things right. But he doesn’t criticize me or cut me down, ever. He’s always there listening to the things I have to say, and when he does correct me it’s in such a gentle way, he never makes me feel less about myself for things I don’t know. It’s so amazing because it really makes me feel like I can tell him anything. Any stupid idea going through my mind, any random stubborn thought, he’s there to listen and not to laugh at the things that I say. I can’t really describe what that means to me. I don’t know that I’ve ever had anyone who is simultaneously smart enough that I can tell them about any of my thoughts without feeling like I’m leaving them behind, and so smart that they could easily discount everything that I am saying, and still kind enough to hear me out and give me the time to think things out aloud. It’s the coolest feeling in the world.
His priorities are so right on it’s incredible. Even the things that I’m too shy to admit are priorities to me he’s not ashamed to be bold in espousing. The gospel comes first, then family, then everything else. I have always had those priorities, but I wasn’t always as vocal about them. I guess I’ve always worried about appearing self-righteous or something. Somehow if I admitted that what I really wanted more than anything was to get married in the temple and raise a family that somehow people would think less of me. Eric is so openly for these things, it’s really refreshing.
Eric is a blast to be around. He is happy, friendly and silly as can be. I love it! I can’t possibly be down around him. He has the power to lift people up and make them better just by being there. And on top of that he’s so funny. We can laugh and joke and just have a good time being together. Tickle wars, silly faces, random funny movie clips- we can have fun doing just about anything. He’s a really fun-loving guy and he makes anything fun.
Eric is totally easy going. He has the ability to just go with the flow and be happy with anything that’s happening. However, he is able to do this while constantly maintaining structure and commitment in his life. He’s really good with responsibility- if he says he’ll do something, he’ll do it, no questions asked. He knows when and where he needs to be places and he can do it. I so admire him for this because it’s something I’ve never been super skilled with, and it is so much a part of who he is. He really makes me want to be more like that just by watching his example, and not by any outward condemnation. He knows what’s important and he’s totally on top of it.
Eric has a good work ethic, but in good moderation. He likes to party when it’s time to party, and work when it’s time to work. He’s not afraid of hard work and he can stick to a task until it is complete. But he’s able to do it on his own terms. He knows when it’s time to take a break or to put something off for a little bit.
Eric is confident in himself and seems able to take charge in any situation. I think I admire this so much because it’s something I’m not as good at. I’m one who has a hard time making a phone call to someone I don’t know. He on the other hand seems able to talk to anyone and everyone. He has an air about him like he knows who he is, where he’s going and what he’s doing that is absolutely inspiring to see.
Eric is passionate about the things that he does and things that he loves. I’ll admit that there are few things I love more than seeing Eric excited about something, and luckily he gets excited about things often. Seriously, even little things like me buying tortellini seem to make him so happy! And if you get a chance to see him play the violin, you are one lucky duck. It is evident in the way that he plays that he isn’t just accomplished because he has practiced a lot (although that is definitely true), he is accomplished because he has a love for playing that is evident in every movement he makes.
Eric is easy to talk to about anything. Seriously, anything. The other day we had an entire discussion about bridal showers and lingerie. He is so open with me about his opinions, thoughts and dreams I can’t help but feel like I can tell him everything. Unfortunately I’m not quite as good at being open with him as he is with me. Not that I keep secrets from him, just that I’m not as easily candid with him. Ok, so for example… when we were having a whole discussion there was a question I really want to ask him before we get married… and our discussion would have prefaced the question perfectly. But I still felt like it ought to be a taboo subject (even though I don’t really think or feel that it is… it’s just that British part of my brain that wants me to be totally proper) that I kept it back. Eric doesn’t seem to have those same qualms. He is able to come right out and say what he wants to say. Not in a candid or uncomfortable way either. He’s just.. honest.
These last few aren’t as much attributes as things that he does that have just made me love him more and more. They’re the silly things he does for me that speak volumes. One thing that totally has impressed me is the way he defends me. This was especially evident when we were back home. My brother Cody and I have a silly thing we do where we call each other fatty and then poke each other. I don’t know why it started but I’m fairly sure I started it… Whenever Cody would do that Eric would threaten him… not like violently, but more like “hey, that’s my fiancee and if you want to insult her you have to go through me first.” I never thought that I would find that attractive. I’ve always liked feeling like I could watch out for myself. However, I can’t deny how good it made me feel that he would defend me, even on something as dumb as Cody calling me fat in teasing. I feel so safe when I’m around him. It’s one of the best feelings there is.
Eric seems constantly aware of the things that I need, and I wish I could be more like this for him. Whether it’s a phone call, or an embrace, or just somehow being there when I really need him…. he’s always there. He seems to constantly be a step ahead of me, ready to do anything in order to make me happy. Even things as silly as my lack of decision making ability. He somehow knows how to help me make decisions without actually making them for me. Somehow he’s even aware of things that I really want when I’m saying otherwise. For example, the other day I really wanted to go back to my apartment for just a couple minutes, but I felt really dumb saying so and I didn’t want to admit the reason (I needed to take care of some feminine hygiene issues, which I couldn’t really do in a guys apartment). I’d tried to sorta direct us back there, without actually saying that I wanted to go back. Then I just conceded that we could go to his place. He somehow picked up on the hint that I wanted to go back, while I was saying aloud that it didn’t really matter to me. I don’t quite know how to explain the situation clearly, but just know that there is nothing that I said that clearly should have indicated that I really wanted to go back. Yet, he somehow figured it out and back to my apartment we went. I so wish I could have that same ability to know the things that he wants but doesn’t say. He is too good to me 🙂
I guess the last thing is just that he accepts me the way I am. With or without makeup, sick or in good health, tired, hungry, stressed, early in the morning, late at night, with my family, among friends, in leadership positions… he’s seen it all and he still loves me. I don’t know how that could possibly be. I’ve admitted to him my weaknesses and secrets and he loves me just the same. I could not possibly deserve the kind of man that he is. I really am the luckiest girl in the entire world. I hope one day I can show Eric just how amazing he truly is. I’m not always good at telling him on the spot or thanking him for all of the wonderful things that he does, but I want to. He is everything I could have possibly asked for and more. I love him now and will love him through all eternity!