Tag: Come Follow Me

  • Without the Book of Mormon – Who am I?

    Without the Book of Mormon – Who am I?

    The following is the text that I used in a talk that I gave in our church services. If you are unfamiliar with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, one of the things that make us unique is that we don’t have a paid preacher to give the sermon each week. Our sermons are given by members of the congregation who are assigned by our local leaders – who are also unpaid members of the congregation. While it can be stressful when you’re the one who is giving the talk (what we call these assigned sermons), it is also a really great way to get fresh perspectives on gospel principles each week.

    In this post I talk a lot about some of the unique teachings and practices of our church compared to other Christian denominations. If you want to learn more I always welcome questions, or I can help connect you with local missionaries, or great resources that can help you understand more about our beliefs.

    I also want to make sure that I say up front that I hold faithful followers of other religions in the highest regard. While this post focuses on some of the unique things that I love about the gospel that I cherish, it is not meant in any way to put down anyone else’s beliefs. I believe that all faithful people, regardless of religious tradition, are given inspiration and light from God and that all are beloved children of Heavenly Parents. I don’t think I’ve said anything in here that those who believe differently would find antagonistic, but if I’m wrong and any of this feels attacking to your own beliefs, please know that was not my intention and I apologize if that is the case. This message was written in the context of being shared with those who share my beliefs, but it might feel different to those who don’t.


    A few years back I considered converting to Catholicism when I discovered that my Catholic friends can decide to go to mass at 7pm on Saturday nights and then they can sleep in on Sunday mornings.  I am not a morning person and that option was really appealing! My Catholic friends are some of the most Christlike people I know and I’ve drawn closer to my Savior through my association with them, so I would still have a good faith community and I could sleep in on Sundays – it was sounding like a pretty good plan!

    Unfortunately, I really like having the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine & Covenants, and living prophets, and temples, and continuing revelation, and eternal families, and the Plan of Salvation, and degrees of glory, and eternal progression, and a Heavenly Mother, and ordinances for the dead, and Relief Society, and the priesthood in my home, and ministering, and callings, and missionaries, and self-reliance, and General Conference, and Come Follow Me, and the word of Wisdom, and patriarchal blessings, and personal revelation, and physical resurrection, and our understanding of the Godhead. 

    So… I decided against Catholic conversion.  But, if you want to know whether or not I have a testimony of the church just remember this – it’s the first day of daylight saving time, my 1 year old is a lousy sleeper, we have 9am church… and I’m here.  That should tell you pretty much all you need to know about my testimony of the gospel.

    When I was asked to speak I was given a couple of scriptures to speak on. However the bishopric also offered me an out that I could speak on whatever was in my heart right now.  I tried at first to stick with the scriptures that had been given me, but there was a challenge that had been something that I wanted to write out, and the further I got into writing my talk… the less my talk had to do with the scriptures given. So I finally let the bishopric know that my actual topic was going to be President Nelson’s talk from October 2017 General Conference.

    I had thought his talk was given recently recently, so I was surprised to find that it was almost 8 years ago, back when President Nelson was still Elder Nelson.  He issued a challenge that had struck me and I had pondered on it over the years, but never taken the time to write out my ponderings. 

    As I wrote my talk I looked up the quote that I remembered, pasted it in, but I didn’t actually re-listen to the talk 🤦‍♀️ This morning, after I’d finished printing out my talk I finally listened to it while curling my hair and found so much in it that I wished I had incorporated into what I was going to share! I had spent all week trying to cut bulk out of my talk because I was worried that I would go over, and it was really too late to change things so I was just mad at my own lack of preparation.

    However, when I got to church the returning missionary who was speaking with me mentioned that she didn’t have a lot to share. Aw man! I’d just spent all this time cutting parts of my talk out and now I was going to be short instead of long!

    Luckily I was able to pull President Nelson’s talk up and add in some of the things that had impressed me while listening to his previous address. I think it was a little tender mercy because if I hadn’t cut down what I’d originally written I wouldn’t have had time to share President Nelson’s words directly – it’s interesting how the Lord works with us.

    President Nelson shared this in his talk –

    My brothers and sisters, how precious is the Book of Mormon to you? If you were offered diamonds or rubies or the Book of Mormon, which would you choose? Honestly, which is of greater worth to you? 

    Remember in the Sunday morning session of the April 2017 general conference, President Thomas S. Monson pleaded with “each of us to prayerfully study and ponder the Book of Mormon each day.” Many have responded to our prophet’s plea. […]

    Something powerful happens when a child of God seeks to know more about Him and His Beloved Son. Nowhere are those truths taught more clearly and powerfully than in the Book of Mormon. Since President Monson’s challenge six months ago, I have tried to follow his counsel. Among other things, I’ve made lists of what the Book of Mormon is, what it affirms, what it refutes, what it fulfills, what it clarifies, and what it reveals. Looking at the Book of Mormon through these lenses has been an insightful and inspiring exercise! I recommend it to each of you.

    I was impressed when I heard this talk to hear that Elder Nelson took the time to take the prophets challenge at the time.  Somehow I had always thought of those challenges as being for regular members of the church.  The apostles were in their own league and beyond having to do what the rest of us do, right?  That really strengthened my testimony of how important it is for us to follow the direction of the prophet – even the apostles take it seriously.

    President Nelson posed these questions –

    “First, what would your life be like without the Book of Mormon? Second, what would you not know? And third, what would you not have?”

      I tried to take his challenge. But I found it difficult to imagine my life without the Book of Mormon in it. I was raised in the church. Every single ancestor on my dad’s side of the family was baptized into the church during their own life time as far back as the church was restored, and my mom was raised in the gospel too. I was even raised near Palmyra, New York until I was 10, so church history was part of my childhood. Growing up, our family was always at church activities, my parents served in leadership roles, and the gospel shaped my life.

      I attended BYU, where I met Eric, and as most of you already know we got engaged within 9 days of our first date.  We married in the temple and now almost 18 years later we have 5 beautiful kids that we’re busy trying to also raise in the gospel. So far, I think I’ve had a pretty good life, and every single good thing in my life – I can tie back to the gospel.

      I don’t say that with the intention to brag. Actually, somewhat the opposite. Because my life has been so entrenched in the gospel I can’t even fathom who I would be without it. When President Nelson asked about what my life would be like without the Book of Mormon I couldn’t even come up with a reasonable answer.  Without the Book of Mormon does my Australian mom come to Utah – where my dad’s family only lived because of the restoration of the church – so that they find each other, get married and decide to have me?  Who am I without the Book of Mormon?

      This has caused me to stop at times and question – do I believe the gospel because it’s the only thing I know, or is it actually something that I know to be true for myself?  Had I been raised in a different family would I have been just as firmly convinced of Catholicism, or Judaism, or Islam, or even Atheism?  How much of what I believe is just because of my surroundings rather than my own personal search for objective truth? 

      I have a bit of what I’ve heard termed ‘holy envy’ for converts to the church. Not that I would trade my upbringing or the privilege that it has been to have that light in my life all along. I just wish I could better appreciate and value the truth and light that I have been given.

      However, even without that experience, I can identify the good things in my life that have come as a result of the Book of Mormon.  While I was being a little bit flippant in my list of reasons to not swap 9am church for 7pm mass – I’m also 100% serious. 

      There were over 20 things on that list that I identified as being unique teachings, programs or practices of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints – and I wouldn’t trade anything to have to give up a single one of them.  They might not all be directly from the Book of Mormon, but the restoration of the church was spurred by the Book of Mormon so I’m counting them all as byproducts. 

      As I tried to define what the restored gospel has given me, I grouped  those truths into five categories that have shaped my life and testimony.  I want to talk to you a little bit about the things that I would not know or have without the Book of Mormon. (as a side note, if you go to President Nelson’s original talk he includes his own list that he shared outside of his talk that I think would be a great study topic)

      The first is Continuing Revelation – The Book of Mormon, the Doctrine & Covenants, living prophets, General Conference.  I can’t understand a context of a loving God who would give direction to some children at one place and time, but not care about others. The restored gospel teaches us that the heavens are open and have been open to people regardless of where they live or when they live.  God spoke to the peoples in the Americas, He speaks today, and He has spoken to many people throughout time. 

      God loves all people everywhere, everywhen.  That to me is exactly what a loving God should look like.

      Second – Organization and Authority entrusted to regular people. Relief Society, the priesthood, church callings , missionaries, ministering, self-reliance, patriarchal blessings, and personal revelation.  The restored gospel uniquely empowers ordinary people to serve in extraordinary ways. Even my own 2 young sons have been given the priesthood to serve in our community.  Where else do 14 & 16 year olds get that kind of authority?

      From Relief Society presidencies to young missionaries, each of us has a role to play in God’s work.  You don’t need a fancy degree or special training – God needs YOU and me. We are all called upon to serve God in our regular lives – you don’t have to live in a convent and give up everything to qualify.  We’re taught in D&C 4:3 that “if ye have desires to serve God, then ye are called to the work.”

      As Elder Holland pointed out, “imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with.” and I’m so grateful that He is willing to work with us.

      Third – A knowledge of who we are, why we’re here, where we’re going. The Plan of Salvation, degrees of glory, and eternal progression.  I can’t even understand how people get through life without this knowledge.  These truths give life so much purpose and hope. Knowing that our loving Heavenly Parents desire the greatest possible happiness for us—even to progress eternally—fills me with hope and purpose.

      Fourth – The rites of the gospel being offered to all.  Temples, eternal families, ordinances for the dead, a physical resurrection.  In many Christian traditions, the importance of baptism and sacraments is widely accepted, but what about those who never had the chance?

      Would a just and loving God deny salvation simply because of when or where someone was born? The restored gospel is finally able to bridge the gap between the necessity of baptism and the impossibility of all to receive it in this life.

      The reality of temple ordinances reassures me that God is truly no respecter of persons—every soul has an equal opportunity for exaltation.

      Fifth – A better understanding of the Godhead. Their physical reality, their origin and the fact that we have a Heavenly Mother

      We don’t talk a lot about our Heavenly Mother, in large part because as a church we don’t really know a lot about Her beyond the fact that She exists and that we as women were created in Her image and can grow up to be like Her. I will be honest, this frequently causes me a lot of frustration to not know more about Her.  BUT…. I have a Heavenly Mother.  And because of the restored gospel, I know that. Of course I want to know more, but I know I have a Heavenly Mother.  There’s a version of deity that looks like me, and I have someone who I can look up to and become like.  I don’t know that I can properly express what that truth means to me in my life.

      Testimony

      I am so grateful for the Book of Mormon in my life.  I may not know what my life would be like without it, but I do know that my life is immeasurably better with it. 

      I want to bear my testimony that I know that the Book of Mormon and the gospel truths that we have gained as a result of it are true.  I’m so grateful for the organization of our church and that I can be a part of it.  If you don’t have a testimony of the Book of Mormon I would encourage you to take President Nelson’s challenge as well.  Consider the light and truth that is in your life because of its teachings. 

      I don’t just believe this because it’s the way I was raised—I believe the gospel because I’ve seen the power of the Book of Mormon in my life. I’ve tested it, and it has strengthened me.  As the Savior taught in Matthew 7:16, “Ye shall know them by their fruits”  The fruits of the Book of Mormon WILL bless your life.  I testify that the Book of Mormon is true. 

      I know that we have Heavenly Parents who know and love each of you.  If you don’t know that for yourself, ask Them, I know they are waiting and desperate to show you how much they care about you.  I’m so grateful for our Savior and that through Him we can live and grow through eternity.  I share these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

    1. “In the Path of Their Duty”

      “In the Path of Their Duty”

      I was asked to give a Relief Society lesson on Elder Bednar’s talk “In the Path of Their Duty” from October 2023 General Conference. Ok, that might not be entirely accurate… I was asked to give a lesson on a different talk and I coerced our Relief Society President into swapping teaching month’s with me so that I could teach this talk. It was my absolute favorite talk from this last conference, and will probably be one of my all time favorite talks so I’ve been looking forward to sharing this with the sisters in our ward for months. So long as I had put all the preparation into my lesson notes and making fun graphics with ChatGPT I figured I ought to share it here as well. I would love to hear your thoughts too! I’ll leave my discussion questions along the way and I’d love for you to leave a comment letting me know what you thought too!

      About the time that this talk was given my mom, sister and I were discussing a relatively famous member of the church was in the news for living a life that was incongruous with the way they had presented themselves. It’s not important who it was but we will just say that it was someone who everyone thought was SO great and doing amazing charitable things… only it came out that actually… they weren’t. As we discussed this we noted that this wasn’t the only person we had seen who had gone through this pattern of fame gained for virtuous and righteous actions then seeming to go off the deep end. Somewhat reminiscent of what we learn in D&C 121:39

      “We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.”

      My sister made the comment that she just wanted to get a C average in life. She didn’t want to do anything flashy she just wanted to get through this life with a passing grade. Which reminded me of the mantra that I would sometimes have in college at the end of the semester. I’m sure no one else said this because you were all much better students than I was but I would sometimes remind myself that “C’s get degrees!” Meaning that sometimes it is time to stop striving for perfection and let good enough be good enough. I could keep working and trying for extra credit and try to eke out an A+, but if I spent all the time to get an A+ in my Physical Science class and failed my American Heritage final that wasn’t really the best outcome. When applied to how we serve in the kingdom however I’ve modified that slightly to…

      C’s get degrees… of glory! I think a lot of times we can get caught up in trying to find the BIG things to do that are in keeping with the gospel. Planning the big service project, serving missions, spending all of our time at the temple etc. But the reality is that’s not always what the Lord has called us to do. Most of the time the service that we give is much smaller and less noticeable, but no less valuable in the Kingdom. I felt like this was sort of the main message of the talk was that we don’t have to do anything that’s so visible and grand. The service we give in our homes and at church are what the Lord asks us to do and if we’re doing that – that’s enough! The Lord doesn’t expect us to be always going above and beyond, He just asks us to do the things that we’ve been asked to do. In 1 Samuel 15:22 we’re taught, “Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice.” We’re even taught in Jacob 4:14 that the Jews fell because they were “looking beyond the mark”.

      I’m by no means advocating that we don’t try to magnify our callings or do the best that we can. However, I think it is important for us to learn that the best that we are called to do doesn’t mean above and beyond, it just means fulfilling our responsibilities well. Elder Bednar included this quote from President Hunter –

      “If you feel that much of what you do this year or in the years to come does not make you very famous, take heart. Most of the best people who ever lived weren’t very famous either. Serve and grow, faithfully and quietly.”
Howard W. Hunter, “No Less Serviceable,”

      It can be frustrating to not see yourself in a lot of the stories that you hear in the scriptures or in conference, but the truth is that most of the most important stories are the ones that are never told. I would love to hear your thoughts on how can we find joy and fulfillment in fulfilling our responsibilities, even when they seem mundane or unnoticed by others?

      When I read this I was reminded of a quote from a blog post that I read years ago. The sister who wrote the article had requested to work as a temple worker but was rejected because she had young children at home back when they had a policy that women with children at home couldn’t be temple workers. The blog seems to have been discontinued but I was able to find the full article on Archive.org and I would definitely recommend the article to anyone who is struggling with feeling like they might not be used to their full potential. Here’s an excerpt of some of the parts that struck me most –

      “The fact was, the Lord didn’t want me, not to do anything eternally important, anyway.  […] The Lord felt that all I was useful for was to wipe noses and bottoms and endlessly feed people. I could do so much more than that, but he didn’t want it – not from me.

      […  In the years since] I’ve come to appreciate with a soulful assurance that God cares most about the details surrounding his children, and that what truly heals, what truly makes a difference, is profoundly personal. It’s a bitter pill to swallow that wiping noses and bottoms and endlessly feeding people is what he really wants from us, if we would rather do something else. Something more romantic, something more visible, something with a tangible feel of obvious service seems infinitely more appealing. But the fact is, to the person with a runny nose or a messy bum or a hungry stomach, nobody else matters.

      In his own life [Jesus] repeatedly taught that the most important service was between individuals, and that if we would lead we must learn to minister as a servant: to those with metaphorical runny noses and messy bums. I’ve taught that principle for nearly three decades, but I still need to be reminded occasionally that it’s better to save one person than to impress a multitude.

      […] For a Father who loves his children, the most meaningful gift he could give them is someone who will descend below all to serve them. If that is the work to which you are called, whether it includes runny noses or quiet corners of the kingdom, whether it is in Paris or Nepal or a small house in a subdivision, know that your call perfectly illustrates just how much God needs you. […] The real power is personal, and all of us are equal to that opportunity.“

      “Does God Need Me”, by Bonnie Atkinson from RealIntent.org via Archive.org

      As a mom this story just hits me in the gut every time. I often feel like the skills I have are not being used to their full potential at home. Moreover, the skills that are really needed to be a successful homemaker are NOT even the ones that I have. I’m no great chef, my cleaning abilities are atrocious, and I’m certainly no hand at decorating. But this thought hit me so strongly – even if the service I’m giving isn’t glamorous, even if I can’t do it Pinterest perfect it’s also not something anyone else can truly do for my family. The line “to the person with a runny nose or a messy bum or a hungry stomach, nobody else matters” hits me so strong every time. Yes, there might be other things I could be doing that are bigger in the world, but I mean the most to my family who I spend my time caring for.

      When was a time when someone did service for you that wasn’t glamorous, but it meant the world to you?

      When I was pregnant with my 4th I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes – which may not be major but I have serious issues with needles and so personally it was devastating. I didn’t know what I could eat and I had 3 kids at home that weren’t going to go for any modified diet. My ministering sister took the time to research what foods I could eat without messing up my blood sugar and made me some soups that I could heat up just for me while I fed the kids chicken nuggets or whatever they wanted to eat. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me at the time, just to know that I had something I could eat without having to guess if it would hurt my baby or not. Just to know that someone had seen me and cared about what I was going through. It wasn’t newsworthy, but to me it was everything. I hope as we go about serving in less noticeable ways we remember just how much the small things we do can mean to those we serve.

      As part of his talk Elder Bednar spoke about some of the unsung heroes in our past. He quoted from a talk that President J Reuben Clark gave at the centennial celebration of the pioneers arriving in Salt Lake. He noted that while we know and often honor those who led the pioneers out west we generally don’t even know the names of those who were in the last wagons of the expedition. These men and women made the same journey, although with the added discomfort of having the dust of the previous wagons in the air as they walked along. Plus, although it’s not mentioned in Elder Bednar’s talk, I would imagine that most of those who were in the last wagons were at the end of the train because they had other difficulties that made the travel extra difficult – an injury, young children, missing father etc. These people likely not only had a journey that was AS difficult, but likely even more so.

      I appreciated President Clark taking the time to remember those who history might not have remembered. I would love for you to consider who has impacted your life – either in your history or personally – by their example of faithful living through difficult trials without the recognition of the world?

      When I heard that it reminded me of a story that my dad told. I made him write it out for me so that I could share it more or less in his words, although I re-wrote it slightly to be in the third person so that it felt authentic to me as I read it to the class. I’m formatting it as a quote, even if it’s not his words exactly (although it almost is) –

      In 1997 the Church celebrated the sesquicentennial (150 year anniversary) of the first pioneers entering the Salt Lake Valley. As part of the celebration members had the opportunity to research and document any direct ancestors that had arrived in Utah before the completion of the transcontinental railroad on May 10th 1869. Those who wanted could complete a “Faith in Every Footstep” form listing all their names and the evidence that they had ‘walked’ to the Salt Lake Valley to receive some sort of certificate.

      One day in High Priest group meeting the guy giving the lesson mentioned this initiative and stated that he had ’22’ such ancestors (the number might have been more or less than 22, but the exact number isn’t necessarily relevant. We’re going to pretend that it was 22 for the rest of the story). He then stated that he was fairly certain that no one else in the group had more.

      You may not know this but Andersons are competitive, and all of our competitiveness we get from our dad. Since he was about 40 years younger than this guy he figured that he had at least one generation on the teacher so about twice as many potential ancestors who could fit the bill.

      The next Sunday the teacher asked if anyone had taken his challenge and done their own research. My dad raised my hand and told the teacher that he had ’24’ and had stopped looking once he had more than the previously proclaimed ’22’. He then threw out a caveat that actually his 4th great-grandfather, David Reeder, had died on October 1, 1856 on the plains of Wyoming somewhere west of Fort Laramie as part of the Willie Handcart Company. The brother very boldly stated “Well then, he doesn’t count.”

      My dad was taken aback and said ‘What do you mean that he doesn’t count?’ David, a widower, had left his home in England with his three living children, one of which, Eliza was married and had three children of her own. When he left his home he was 4846 miles away from the Salt Lake. He ‘walked’ 4496 of those miles and my dad was definitely going to count him. In any event, that still left him with 23 ancestors which was one more than the teacher had! Which in my dad’s opinion was the most important part of the exercise 😉

      Because of David Reeder’s sacrifice his daughter Eliza was able to bring her 2 year old daughter Sarah to Utah. Sarah’s son Henry was the father of my great grandmother Bonnie who I remember well – she passed away a little over a week after I had Sam. His willingness to not only cross the plains but sacrifice his life allowed me to be brought up in a family that had the gospel. He might not “count” as having made it to the Salt Lake Valley, but in my book, he counts twice. I am eternally grateful for David Reeder’s trek across the plains regardless of what anyone else thinks.

      The title of Elder Bednar’s talk came from Samuel the Lamanite while talking about the righteous among his people.

      5 And I would that ye should behold that the more part of them are in the path of their duty, and they do walk circumspectly before God, and they do observe to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments according to the law of Moses.
6 Yea, I say unto you, that the more part of them are doing this, and they are striving with unwearied diligence that they may bring the remainder of their brethren to the knowledge of the truth; therefore there are many who do add to their numbers daily.
Helaman 15:5-6

      I find it interesting that Samuel didn’t mention the big things that the righteous were doing – it wasn’t big projects or grand gestures, but simply the things that they were doing “in the path of their duty”. The every day things that kept their community running. What does it mean to you to be “in the path of [your] duty?”

      Elder Bednar went on to discuss examples of what that might look like today. I really wanted to pull out quotes from that section of his talk, but it was nearly 10 minutes of his talk that he spent praising the often overlooked ways that many serve in the church. If you haven’t listened to the talk yet I would strongly encourage you to take the time to listen to all of the ways Elder Bednar honored the often unsung heroes of the church. I went through and with ChatGPT’s help made a condensed list of the ways that he mentioned that we can be serviceable “in the path of [our] duty”

      • Offering comfort and support to those in need
      • Supporting family members in their callings
      • Repenting and returning to the covenant path
      • Waiting on the Lord for blessings and answers
      • Helping others receive the gospel in their own language
      • Multiplying and replenishing the earth, despite challenges or unfulfilled desires.
      • Teaching in nursery & primary
      • Caring for aged parents.
      • Comforting and protecting your children.
      • Setting up and taking down chairs, and performing other tasks to support meetings and activities.
      • Inviting others to come and see, come and help, and come and stay in the Church.
      • Fasting, praying, listening, learning, caring, consoling, teaching, and testifying by the power of the Holy Ghost.
      • Enduring trials and challenges for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

      I’m sure everyone can find yourself somewhere on that list, and probably in different places on that list in different stages of life. I loved what Elder Bednar had to say about all of these different types of service.

      “I have described only a few selected examples of covenant-keeping and devoted disciples of Jesus Christ like you who are pressing forward “in the path of [your] duty.” Millions of additional examples of Latter-day Saints who offer their “whole souls” unto God are found in Christ-centered homes and in Church units around the world. […]

I am grateful for millions of Church members who today are coming unto the Savior and pressing forward on the covenant path in the last wagons of our contemporary wagon trains—and who truly are no less serviceable. Your strong faith in Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ and your unpretentious, consecrated lives inspire me to be a better man and disciple.

I love you. I admire you. I thank you. And I commend you.”

      I appreciated Elder Bednar’s words. Especially where he said that those who are serving in less visible roles inspire him to be a better disciple. He’s an apostle of the Lord, and he has lots of visibility into the BIG things that the church is doing. Humanitarian efforts, building temples, aiding refugees, scholarly efforts, large scale devotionals, the legion of full time missionaries currently serving. If he wanted to talk about the big things that are being accomplished by church members he could certainly have done it. Instead he spoke about nursery leaders, parents, and people repenting and doing their best in their own small ways.

      If Elder Bednar can show that kind of appreciation to regular church members in their regular callings I would love for you to think -What are some ways we can show appreciation for those who serve in less visible roles in the Church? What are some ways we can support and sustain those who serve in different callings in the Church?

      At the leadership session of our most recent stake conference one of the brothers who spoke shared some thoughts about the parable of the Vineyard as found in Matthew 20:1-16 and how we might apply it to how we serve in the church. Brief recap if you don’t remember that parable, the owner of a vineyard hires people to work for him at several different times during the day and pays them all the same amount for their service at the end of the day. The speaker mentioned those who came in the later part of the day and posited that perhaps they were called later because they couldn’t have withstood the heat of the day. He talked about the Prado principle which is that generally 80% of the work in an organization is done by 20% of the people (and annoyingly 80% of the work on a project takes 20% of the time and the other 80% is spent on a mere 20% of the work). Often in the church this holds true as well and you will see that about 20% of the membership of the church is doing 80% of the work.

      Sometimes if you are part of that 20% you may be tempted to say, “hey! I’m holding up my part, why can’t other people pitch in and serve like I’m doing?” This speaker said that we should consider that others might not have the ability to serve in the same way we do. Maybe they have physical limitations that we don’t know about, or their capacity might be limited in other ways. Maybe they simply haven’t had the experiences of being blessed by service and haven’t received a testimony of how important the work can be. Perhaps they haven’t had the same opportunities to serve and don’t understand how they might be blessed for their service. Rather than begrudging others we should be grateful that we have the abilities to serve. We should be grateful that even those who cannot serve through the heat of the day receive the full reward. Sometimes we might be the person who can’t make it through the heat of the day and how grateful we are then that the Lord does not begrudge us our lack of abilities. Every person is facing different challenges and it isn’t helpful to compare one person’s abilities to another person’s.

      I would love for you to consider – When have you felt grateful for the opportunity to serve or felt grateful for someone else being able to serve where you could not?

      Probably the part of the talk that most spoke to me while Elder Bednar was talking about the ways that people serve “in the path of their duty” was where he spoke about the work that parents do.

      “The phrase “in the path of their duty” describes faithful married men and women who honor their covenant responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth and who are blessed with the strength and stamina to wrestle with their children in sacrament meetings. In an increasingly confused world beset with calamities and misplaced priorities, these courageous souls heed not the secular voices extolling self-centeredness; they reverence the sanctity and importance of life in Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness for His children.
Many married couples also trust in God when the righteous desires of their hearts are not realized how or when they had hoped and dreamed.”

      Having children is not for the faint of heart and it can be frightening to consider raising them in this world. I currently have 5 children and it takes so much of my time and energy to facilitate their growth and development. I was so touched to have my experiences of wrestling kids in sacrament meetings (which definitely happens weekly) recognized. Something Dr. Shon Hopkin mentioned in the Follow Him podcast last week really struck me as well –

      “[Many] are afraid to have families and children under the difficulties of our day and those who trust in the Lord say, "I will move forward in faith and we will have families, we will support families. If I'm an aunt or an uncle, I'm going to support my brothers and sister's family. I'm going to be a primary teacher and support families. We will not be afraid, but we will move forward.”
And I would submit every time a child is born and the spirit that comes with that childbirth is a witness of Emmanuel. God is with us. He's still sending His children to this earth.”
Dr Shon Hopkin, Follow Him Podcast, Book of Mormon Episode 9

      I loved how he categorized having children as an act of faith and a way to show the Lord that we trust Him even as He trusts us with the care of His children. I also loved the idea that every new baby born is a sign that God is with us. I thought that was a beautiful way to honor those new babies. It may be more tender to me currently as I have my own small baby in the home (although he’s getting big much faster than I authorized him to!) but as the world often considers the addition of more children as an act of insanity it is encouraging to have it honored instead as an act of faith. I would love for us to consider how can we have faith to have families despite the difficulties of the world around us? How can we support the families around us to grow in faith?

      I want to share my testimony that the greatest works that we can do in this life are often those that are most likely to be overlooked. But that nothing that we do is overlooked by the Lord. You matter. All that you are doing in your calling, for your family, in your personal relationship with the Lord – it matters. I hope that we will all find ways to recognize all of the different ways that those around us are living the gospel “in the path of their duty” and that we will strive to find the ways that we can best serve, even when it’s not glamorous. I know that our Heavenly Parents love us and I’m so grateful that because of Jesus Christ all of our small and seemingly insignificant works can help us to live with Them again.

    2. Am I Worth a Kidney Stone?

      Am I Worth a Kidney Stone?

      In March last year I found myself 8 months pregnant with a kidney stone. If you’ve never had a kidney stone I would strongly recommend against it. They are no fun. I’ve gone through childbirth 5 times without an epidural and the kidney stones are worse than childbirth – and instead of a cute baby you just get a stupid piece of gravel out of the ordeal.

      The kidney stone was the icing on the cake after a long hard pregnancy. Nothing earth shatteringly bad, but a lot of normal pregnancy stuff. My back is terrible when I’m pregnant so I’d hardly been able to walk the whole time. I had pregnancy induced tachycardia – which meant that my heart would race for long stretches of time for no good reason. Think of the way that your heart feels after you finish running a race, except you are just sitting around doing nothing, and it won’t go back down with rest. Heartburn was a given constant regardless of how bland I kept my diet – you have to really watch out for that spicy oatmeal! My morning sickness wasn’t terrible but not fun either. I had Braxton Hicks contractions pretty constantly as well – which aren’t really painful but they are exhausting. It’s kind of like having an involuntary ab workout – even if the muscles are strong, they get tired after awhile.

      On top of all of that, pregnancy means that at least twice I’m going to have to deal with needles – which I hate. I think I’m pretty tough when it comes to pain but I deal with vasovagal syncope which means that my body freaks out with needles and I tend to pass out HARD. I used to say that I was afraid of needles, but it’s less of a fear than almost an allergic reaction. I dread those needles more than I dread labor.

      My postpartum recovery was actually pretty straightforward this time around – however that kidney stone never made its way out as far as I could tell. I assumed that it had just seen its way out undramatically while my attention was more focused on all the other unpleasantries of post partum recovery. Until…

      The day after Christmas I found myself in downtown Salt Lake City, with just my 6 year old and 8 month old when that kidney stone reared its ugly head again. I drove myself to a place where I could charge our car and sat there writhing in pain. At one point I handed my 8 month old to my 6 year old so that I could find an empty grocery bag to throw up in. It was certainly a low point to feel surrounded by people in the middle of a city, but so very very alone at the same time and in agony, needing help. Fortunately my amazing husband raced back down the mountain to rescue me and spent that evening in the ER with me while they loaded me up with meds and fluids.

      One round of Flomax and antibiotics later and… I still seem to have that kidney stone. It hasn’t been bothering me but every so often I’ll get a little stab of pain and I can tell – it’s still there just biding its time. It’s been another couple months and I’m realizing that I never got a call from the imaging department at the hospital about the CT scan the urologist ordered. I’m sure that I have surgery in my future which is not my idea of a good time. But I know that if I leave that stupid tiny piece of gravel in its place then its likely to cause an infection and I’ll be back to inordinate amounts of pain.

      One night shortly after my ER adventure my husband was walking around with our son and pretending to talk on his behalf. He was being a little silly and voiced for the baby, “Mom, look how cute I am, aren’t I the cutest? I’m worth having a kidney stone for, right?” I matched the silly mood and immediately replied, “Of course you are, you’re adorable!”

      He was being silly but the exchange stopped me a little abruptly. A lot of what happens to me as a result of pregnancy isn’t fun – but at the same time, I knew what was likely to happen and this baby was not a surprise. I had chosen to go through all of that for a baby that I didn’t even know yet. Pregnancy amnesia is real and there were definitely points along the way where I felt like “why did I choose to do this again?? This is the worst!”

      But now my husband was asking me if I would go through all of that again for this baby that I *do* know. Only a little bit, I’ve only had him for 10 months, but knowing him like I do now, would I go through all the struggles of pregnancy, childbirth AND even kidney stones again to have him?

      Photo Credit: Mad Marie Photo & Video

      The answer was unequivocally – YES! Of course! There isn’t even a question in my mind that all that I endured for him was worth it. I cannot express emphatically enough how I would go through all of those things again for this cute baby. He really is the cutest, but more importantly, he’s mine and I love him beyond words.

      Which then got me thinking – was there anything that I wouldn’t go through for him? I tried to think of a single thing that I would not suffer through for my baby. Cancer, loss of limbs, torture – none of it seemed worse than the idea of not having my baby. He is precious to me beyond anything I can count. While my love for him has never been (and hopefully never will be) tested to the limits, at least in the hypothetical I can’t think of a situation where I wouldn’t be willing to suffer through anything in order for him to have his life.

      As I thought about that my mind turned to our Savior. I have often wondered and marveled at His sacrifice for each of us. Not just in giving up His life, but at the idea of Him suffering through all of the pains of each individual person’s life to save us. How could He possibly bear to go through all of that?

      But then in my mind I pictured my Heavenly Father taking me in his arms, showing me to Christ and speaking on my behalf. “Jesus, look how cute I am, aren’t I the cutest? I’m worth atoning for, right?” I can see Jesus, who has known me for a lot longer than 10 months and who has love beyond that of a mortal mother, looking at me, smiling and saying, “Of course you are Brittny, you’re adorable.”

      And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam.

      (2 Nephi 9:21)

      Clearly I’m nowhere near the Savior, but for a moment I could understand in some small way how Jesus could do what He did. I can imagine each one of us being presented to Him and having the same question asked of Him – “What about me? Am I worth atoning for?” If the answer was no He would not have to suffer for us, but He also would have an eternity ahead without us. As a mother I can think of nothing that would be worse than facing an eternity without my children and knowing that I could have done something that would have saved them. Perhaps that’s the way Jesus feels about us too.

      In Isaiah 49:15-16 Christ says, “Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands;” As a mother the idea of being able to forget one of my children and not care about them seems so ludicrous. But Jesus says that even as remote as that possibility may seem, it could happen to us. But not to Him. Whenever He sees His hands He remembers us.

      There’s a book by Max Lucado that I haven’t read yet but I’ve seen this quote from it as a meme and it struck me to my core – “He knew the price of those sins was death. He knew the source of those sins was you, and since he couldn’t bear the thought of eternity without you, he chose the nails.” Somehow it just hits different when you think of the atonement as being that personal. Not just some cosmic collective moment, but a sacrifice that was indescribably individual. Not something that happened to Jesus, but a choice that he made deliberately. A choice that He made for YOU.

      I want to bear testimony that YOU were worth it. You are worth it. Every day Jesus is reaching out to you, trying to remind you of His love for you. You are valuable to Him beyond price, and hopefully you never forget it.

    3. Leaving Bountiful

      Leaving Bountiful

      It’s been fascinating this year to study The Book of Mormon that I am SO familiar with… and find out that there is SO much that I’ve never seen it in before. How is it that I’ve read these stories so many times and there’s still more to unpack? I’m so grateful for the Come Follow Me program and how it helps me to dive into the scriptures in more meaningful ways.

      This last week we studied about Nephi’s family preparing to leave Bountiful. If you’re unfamiliar with the story I’ll give a brief recap (or you can read 1 Nephi 1-18 for all the details). Nephi’s family was called to leave Jerusalem, their home filled with comforts and riches prior to the Babylonian captivity (as recorded in the Old Testament books of Daniel, Jeremiah and others). Despite the challenges, they obediently followed the Lord’s command, embarking on a journey into the wilderness that lasted eight long years. Finally, they reached the land Bountiful, a place of abundance and prosperity.

      At first glance, Bountiful seemed like the promised land they had longed for—a place flowing with milk and honey, where their family could thrive. FINALLY, they had made it! They had escaped the perils of remaining in Jerusalem and being subject to captivity, and they had survived the long years in the desert where they had suffered hunger and privations. I can only imagine their gratitude to reach this beautiful place as their reward for enduring through nearly a decade of trials. Yet, even in this seemingly idyllic setting, they were not meant to stay. The Lord had greater things in store for them, beyond the comforts of Bountiful.

      As part of my Come Follow Me study last week I listened to the Follow Him podcast where they had Dr. Tyler Griffin on the show. This part of their conversation keeps replaying in my head –

      Hank Smith: We’ve made it through the wilderness. We’re to Bountiful and you would think we made it. We could stay here forever, yet there’s a lot more to come.
      Dr. Tyler Griffin: This is a beautiful reminder to us that if we’re not careful, we will mistake these byways or these incredible locations like Bountiful. It’s oceanfront property. It’s got all the fruits we could want. Why not just set up our civilization here? […] From an earthly perspective you could say, “Hey, it’s Bountiful. This is the perfect place,” but the reality is God has so much more in store to give this group. They don’t even know the extent of the lands and the fruit and the flowers and all of the amazing things that they’re going to get to experience in the promised land after having given up all of their gold, silver, precious things in their house and their land of inheritance in Jerusalem. It’s like what they sacrificed is nothing compared to what he has in store for them and what he has in store for them is not Bountiful. It’s just a staging area for that next phase which involves crossing the ocean. […]
      John Bytheway: I’ve never thought of that before, but we all understand what the Lord means when he says, “Leave Babylon,” but leaving your Bountiful. Ooh, that’s tough. And it was as Michael Wilcox who talks about the Lord sometimes calls us when the nets are full. That’s when it’s tough. I know people in my own ward, they just bought a house and got called on a mission, and asking you to leave when the nets are full. Maybe they got comfortable here in Bountiful and, nope, you’ve got to leave your Bountifuls too.

      Leaving behind Jerusalem would have been very difficult. Lehi’s family seems to have been in a position of wealth and comfort. They knew that there were bad influences around them though. That sacrifice would have been hard but it feels like the kind of sacrifice you expect to make as someone trying to follow God. Leaving behind something that looks and feels good but is bad for you. Like when you’re comfy binging Netflix but you know it’s time to get your lazy butt off the couch and start exercising. You might be happy on the couch, but you know you could do better.

      Going through the wilderness was obviously difficult. Lack of food, broken bows, living in tents – none of that sounds fun. But it was necessary. If they were to leave behind Jerusalem and escape the judgements that were coming there was a desert standing in their way. It feels acceptable to have challenges that come after making a sacrifice of something that is bad for us. It’s like the daily grind of waking up each morning to go to the gym after leaving the couch. it’s not fun, but the results are worth it. Plus, on the other end of it you can justify eating chocolate cake!

      When they reached Bountiful – they had made it! All of that misery in the desert was over and now they were being rewarded. It might have been so hard, but looking around them I would imagine they thought it was worth it. They didn’t have to worry about being captured by Babylonians, they weren’t starving in the desert – clearly this is what the Lord had in mind for them. They had gotten in shape and THIS was the chocolate cake that they had earned by putting in all that time at the gym.

      But instead they were told to leave that beautiful, rewarding place as well. In order to get into the really amazing shape that you want to get into, you also have to give up that chocolate cake that you feel like you’ve earned. For Lehi’s family to get to America – a land that was teeming with natural resources, space and so much more than they could have ever dreamed of – they had to give up Bountiful. It was the best they had seen so far – but they had no idea what was in store.

      Nephi’s story must have been very comforting to Latter-day Saint Pioneers. As they were driven from Palmyra to Kirtland to Missouri to Nauvoo and ultimately to Utah. How hard it must have been to give up homes, businesses and lands in Illinois for the deserts of the Mountain West. But what would they have given up if they had stayed? Would the church have had the space it needed to grow and thrive if they hadn’t been willing to give up what they already had?

      I keep asking myself, what about me? Would I be willing to give up Bountiful for the Promised Land? What are the good things that I might have to give up for something that would be even better?

      One example that came to mind from my own life happened about a year and a half ago. I had 4 children and my youngest had just made it into preschool. Things were clicking along with my business and my kids were starting to be able to handle their schooling on their own – I was actually getting to a point where I had something resembling free time in my day! We were getting out of diapers and carseats, no one needed to be back at home for naptime. My oldest had finally reached 13 too so I had a legitimate babysitter built in when I wanted to leave the house. I had done the baby/toddler/little kid thing for so long and I’d finally made it to having big kids. This was the life!

      Then… the prompting came. It was time to have another baby. What?! Didn’t the Lord know? I already had 4 kids – which is maybe not a LOT of kids – but it is certainly still a lot of kids. I was past 35, which meant that I now qualify as a “geriatric pregnancy” (lots of feelings about that terminology, but that’s another topic). Plus, my 4th pregnancy had been ROUGH – gestational diabetes, kidney stones, back problems – and when it was over I got a difficult baby who was always mad, didn’t sleep and required a lot of attention. Was I really being sent back to the wilderness of newborns and toddlers? Hadn’t I earned my Bountiful?

      I would be lying if I said that I jumped right in with Nephi’s “I will go, I will do!” personality. It took some time for me to warm up to the idea, to discuss it with my husband, and to clear it with my midwife. But eventually I allowed myself to be “led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do.” (1 Nephi 4:6) Within a few months I was pregnant again – being tossed about on the seas of morning sickness, kidney stones and tachycardia. It was a pretty rough go of things, and there was a lot of misery through those nine months of pregnancy. But at the end of it…

      I got this sweet baby! He is sweet tempered, loving and adorable. He even sleeps through the night! He only sleeps in my bed next to me – but to be honest, that’s par for the course and he actually *sleeps* so he’s ahead of his siblings. The word most often used to describe him is “delightful” and it is certainly fitting.

      Before his arrival our kids had pretty well decided that babies were ROUGH. They weren’t really sure about having a baby again after how much their youngest brother had cried and been miserable to be around. But this baby has completely changed their tune. They carry him around like he is their own. He has been so good for the big kids to learn some responsibility, and he’s even helped the youngest learn to regulate himself a little better. In all he has been the most wonderful blessing that we had no idea we needed in our family.

      There was nothing wrong with our family before. But now that we know how wonderful our family is with this new baby – how sad it is to think how easily we could have stayed in a place of contentment and complacency and missed out on him! How sad it would have been knowing all the vastness and bounties of the Americas were given up for a few miles of oasis on the Arabian peninsula.

      I don’t think that leaving Bountiful is a one time thing in our life. I’m pretty sure it’s a pattern that will happen again and again and again. Because we have no idea the treasures and blessings that God has in store for us. He will continue to lead us from good to better and better and better until He can finally lead us into Kingdoms of Glory. But we have to be willing to let go of the good that we have now, and cross the raging seas before we can get what He has in store for us.

    4. Feasting on the Tree of Life

      Feasting on the Tree of Life

      A few years back our family was studying the Tree of Life story from 1 Nephi 8.  As part of our study we watched a video representation of the story.  We got to the part of the video where the people who have pressed forward to make it to the tree of life finally get a chance to partake of the fruit.  My 8-year-old son suddenly asked, “If the fruit is so good, why do they only take one bite?  Why don’t they eat the whole thing?”

      I hadn’t been paying attention to that particular detail, but he was right. In the video it shows that the people are excited to get to the tree, they take a bite of the fruit and then just stand there with the rest of the fruit still sitting there in their hands.  Although it was a brief scene that I initially overlooked, my son’s observation was astute. 

      Usually if you’ve eaten something that’s delicious the first thing you want to do is take another bite, and another, and another!  If it’s so good, why is it not smeared all over their faces and dripping from their hands?  You should be able to tell from looking at someone that they had been eating the fruit.  Their hands should be so sticky that no one can touch them without getting some of the juice on them as well.  You should be able to smell it on them from several feet away.  You should get a contact high from the fruit just by being in their vicinity.

      If the fruit of the tree of life represents the Love of God, then how would this apply to me? Am I ever guilty of just taking a single bite of that love and then leaving the rest behind?  Many of us can remember the moment when we found the gospel or gained a testimony that it was true.  But as Alma asks us in Alma 5:26 – “can ye feel so now?” It doesn’t do us any good to find the gospel and feel that love one time.  We should take that love and apply it to every aspect of our lives until people can tell just by looking at us that we’ve felt that love. 

      But how do we keep partaking of the fruit?  Won’t we get bored just eating the same thing over and over again?  I think apples are delicious, but if I sit around just eating apples I’ll get tired of them pretty quickly. Fortunately, I don’t think that this fruit is only good one way.  I’m sure it tastes great as jam or pie or in a fruit salad.  If my experiences with the Love of God are any representation, it has so many different flavors that you can make it part of ANY dish – pasta, soup, ice cream, steak.  Don’t think that God has any limits!  I have felt His love at births, and funerals – it can be felt both in times that are joyous and those that are filled with sorrow.  His love is present at the grandest of occasions and the most mundane.  His love can give a better flavor to anything that you’re going through.

      Maybe we just take one bite because we want to leave more for others.  However, there’s no shortage or limit to the fruit – the Love of God is infinite.  Limiting our consumption does not leave more for someone else, there is plenty for everyone.  In fact, as we eat more of it the supply only grows and becomes more available and easier to find for others.  We also learn how to prepare it better and can share those recipes with others so that they can enjoy the fruit more fully.  We are all strengthened when another person is able to apply the Love of God in their life.  

      Have you ever listened to a talk or lesson as someone has shared how they felt God’s love in their life – either through an act of service, or a prayer, or a scripture, or any number of other ways – and then recognized that you’ve felt God’s love in that way as well, even if you hadn’t recognized it at the time? Or taken their “recipe” and tried someone else’s way of living the gospel which gave you access to God’s love in a completely different way than you’d had before?  The more experience we have with the love of God, the more we can share that love with others.

      I posted a few years back about a time when I was able to bless a few people in a small way through a prompting I received at stake conference.  I had listened as one of the speakers had shared the way she had felt impressed to serve.  When I went out and served in a similar way I was able to see how the Lord was able to bless several people through that service.  I was so grateful for access to someone else’s “recipe” for sharing and feeling God’s love.

      Maybe we’re really familiar with eating one part of the fruit, but there are other parts that we don’t want to eat. Do I take parts of the gospel and enjoy their sweetness while neglecting other parts – denying myself the blessings and sweetness they could also add to my life?  The seeds, the skin, the flesh, the stem – all of it is delicious and can be used in so many different ways.  It is THE superfood – the more of it you eat the better it is for you. It’s all there, it’s mine for the taking, why would I not eat as much of it as I can? Whether it is family history, temple attendance, scripture study, personal prayer, church meetings, ministering assignments – I’m sure there is an aspect of the gospel that we can each work on adding into our lives more fully that would give us greater experience with the love of God.

      So my challenge to you is – DIG IN! Take more than one bite. Let’s all feast on the fruit of the Tree of Life and bring the Love of God more fully into our lives. Let us not merely nibble at the edges of divine love; instead, may we devour it, savoring its fullness. In doing so, we can become beacons of that love in a world that hungers for its taste.