Category: Highs and Lows

Those of you who follow me on Facebook have probably noticed a theme of me being a little overwhelmed lately. Today I thought I should stop for a moment and properly document the adventures going on in our household recently, and some thoughts on motherhood.  If you want to skip over my tales of craziness to the moral of the story you can click here and jump to the end.  Strangely enough this post is long. Not sure why, none of my other posts are ever long 😉

My Commitments and Projects

I posted this to Facebook the other day – “I’m pretty sure I’d be doing a whole lot less work if I were homeschooling Sam than I am by helping out with his class in the public school – this is getting a little ridiculous!”  I have gone back and forth for a while as to whether I should homeschool Sam or not (that’s a whole other post for another day), but I signed Sam up for kindergarten at our public school this year. He’s SO far ahead of their curriculum it’s silly, but we try to find things to keep him engaged at home.  When I went in for his kindergarten assessment I noticed that no one had signed up to be the room mom so I decided to take the plunge and sign myself up.  That commitment on its own really isn’t too bad, I’m mostly managing volunteers for all the class activities, which I can do via email from home – right up my alley 🙂  I’m helping with stations every other week on Tuesdays.  I’ve been surprised at just how much parental involvement is required to run our kindergarten class – I’m glad for the parents that have been so willing to do it, and that the kids are getting such a great experience – just overwhelmed with how much it requires from each parent.  In addition I’m our ward’s cub scout committee chair, Danny’s soccer coach, a freelance web developer, a local political activist, a visiting teacher… oh yeah, and a wife and a mother to three young kids.  It’s been a little busy around here

U04 Soccer

As I mentioned above, I decided to coach soccer this year.  The last time I played any sort of organized soccer was when I was in 3rd grade so I’m not the most qualified, but I figured that for U04 soccer (a league comprised of 3 and 4 year olds) my experience was sufficient.  I figured my whole goal was to let the kids play and not cry too much – if we were generally kicking the ball and playing something that resembled soccer that was enough for me.  I figured the other parents can’t get too upset since I wasn’t getting paid, and if they thought they could do better, I would gladly let them (our league had to refund  a lot of players’ money this season because not enough parents volunteered to coach).  It’s been more difficult than I thought.  We have a team of 7 players, but of those 7, two have refused to play at all, two have been willing to play occasionally (but sometimes “play” means sit on the field – Danny would be one of these two), one who is a really decent player – but gets really upset if the other team scores or if someone takes the ball from him, and two little girls who have been stuck playing every minute of every game we’ve had so far.  This last Saturday when the game started we had 2 players who showed up.. the other team had 9.  Oh, and one of my two was Danny who was upset about everything and didn’t want to play (his shorts wouldn’t stay up, his shin guards were wrong, his socks were wrong, his cleats were wrong… he’d gotten up too early, everything was wrong).  The other coach was understanding and subbed some of his players in and out of our team and we played with whoever would come out on the field at any given time.  I can’t even tell you how grateful I am for that very flexible and understanding coach for totally rolling with our ragtag team and just letting the kids have a fun time with whatever sort of team we had.  Also, a HUGE amount of thanks to my wonderful in-laws who have been coming to all of my boys’ games.  Eric had commitments as the Young Men’ president on Saturday and wasn’t able to be there, so his parents’ help of sitting with Maeli and helping negotiate with Danny was helpful beyond compare.

Danny’s Head

Two Saturdays ago while Eric was at some stake leadership training Danny comes into the house with blood running down his face.  I of course bring him in and get him cleaned up as best as I can while asking what happened.  He tells me that one of the boys in our neighborhood hit him in the head with a bat.  Outraged I go outside and confront the boy about this and he claims it was an accident.  I’m somewhat dubious, but I also don’t want to be accusing him of things that truly were accidental – plus Danny is still bleeding so I say something about not playing with bats and go back to caring for Danny.  As I get him cleaned up the cut doesn’t look too bad, it’s not very long but it’s opened up pretty wide from the swelling.  I’m pretty sure I’m overreacting but I text Eric to say that I’d like him to come home and look at it once he finishes his meeting, rather than going and getting a haircut as he had planned.  Eric arrives home within minutes and looks at the cut.  He concurs that it’s opened pretty wide and we should probably get it looked at.  While he carries Danny around he gets the rest of the story.  Apparently the boy who hit him had hit Danny on accident – but he’d been using the bat to try to hit another little girl and had just missed.  Awesome.  By the time I find this out I feel like it’s too late to bring it up with the mom or the little boy again so I decide to let it go and just be grateful that Danny wasn’t injured worse.  We’re fortunate to have a friend who is a doctor and lives a few doors down.  He takes a look at Danny’s head and is of the opinion that a butterfly bandage will be sufficient to let the wound heal properly.  Poor Danny complains sporadically over the next few days that his head hurts and gets a black eye.  When the bandaid falls off everything looks fine, but then he can’t leave it alone and picks the scab off and makes it bleed again.  Danny’s still wearing a bandaid today, a week and a half later because he’s too traumatized that it will start bleeding again 🙁

New Neighbors

Last week we were ready to to the bus stop and Sam was outside reading.  I called him in to get his backpack. When he got to the garage he said, “But Mom, there’s a master spider in here!” Sam can get worked up over things that aren’t that big of a deal so I was certain it was just a box elder bug. I told him, “don’t worry about it and come in” As I looked around the car I found that it wasn’t a box elder bug – IT WAS A TARANTULA! Ok, so it turns out it wasn’t actually a tarantula… it was a wolf spider that was the size of a tarantula.  I am a bit arachnaphobic, I hate, hate HATE spiders.  So to have a giant spider in my garage?!?  AHHHHHHHHHH!  I was not a fan.

For some reason these spiders seem to be taking over our neighborhood.  That picture above is some of the pictures that have been posted to facebook of these spiders.  I’m not sure why I decided to make a collage… just looking at those pictures is enough to give me the creeps.  Oh, and black widows have been taking over our neighborhood too.  Greeeeaaaat.  I might not be outside much between now and when our neighborhood freezes over.

Adventure to the Doctor’s Office

So yesterday was an exciting afternoon.  We had scheduled an appointment for Sam to finally go in and get his last  immunization for kindergarten.  Since I am pretty severely trypanophobic we had scheduled this specifically for a time when Eric could take him.  About 15 minutes before it was time to leave Eric was requested to join an emergency call for one of his clients.  So instead of just Eric and Sam going, I got to take all three kids to the doctor’s office. I thought we’d be in and out super quick since we were just there for a shot, but we ended up waiting room for 1 hour!  During the wait of course Maeli started to get super tired.  When we were finally called back Sam was trying to bargain, he said he wanted a full check up before he’d let them give him a shot.  Luckily their protocol had them weigh and measure him, check his pulse and temperature, ask about the things that he’s been eating and did a pretty  decent mini check up.  His one specific request was that they look in his ear with an otoscope and the nurse even played along and looked inside his ear.  When she left the room Sam started getting nervous.  So I let him decide whether he wanted the shot in his arm or his leg so he could feel a little bit like he was in control of the situation.  He decided on his leg so I helped him take his pants off and sat him on the table.  Then I gave him my phone and let him play some games with the deal that if he’d be good for the nurse he could keep playing. That was great… in theory.   When the nurse came in, Sam  was upset but I was able to distract him with the game a few times, but I was trying to help Maeli who was now rather over tired. When the nurse finally was ready to do the actual shot Sam freaked out completely and tried to climb the wall. So she went out to bring in another nurse to hold him down.  Even with both of them they had a hard time holding him still.  So the second nurse called over, “Mom, some help?”  (she obviously hadn’t gotten the memo that needles tend to make me pass out).  So I buckled Maeli back into the stroller and tried to come over and hold Sam’s hand, but Sam was flailing and I couldn’t look at the needle without wanting to react the same way Sam was… I wasn’t much help.  They finally got the shot in Sam but he was still flailing and freaking out, so his heart rate was up… meaning he bled… a lot. There was blood everywhere.  All over his leg, all over his arm and all over his shirt (naturally, since he was wearing a brand new shirt yesterday). The nurse finally gets his leg cleaned up and lets him pick out a bandaid (he wanted the plain brown one, not ninja turtles, not iron man, not perry the platypus – plain brown) but he was still mildly freaking out. Maeli was crying because she was overtired. Danny decides to act up.  He had ridden in the stroller in and had taken off his boots.  He wouldn’t put his boots back on, and he refused to walk and let Sam sit in the stroller. As we walked out I needed to get a receipt from the office that Sam had gotten his shot for the school, I had to just hold Maeli while we waited for that because she was so upset at that point.  I got it, and we left the office with both Sam and Maeli in hysterics.  Danny on the other hand is feeling smug for having helped rile Sam up even more.  When we got to the van Danny hits his head on another car in his smugness so he’s crying too.  Awesome.  Everyone cried on the way home and we made frozen pizza for dinner, and called it an early night at the Hansen house.

Today’s Adventure

So, after yesterday’s adventure I was hoping for a quieter day today – hahahaha!  How naive I must be.  This morning I had to get everyone up and ready early because I’d volunteered to take in the snack today for “W” day and hadn’t made it to the grocery store yesterday ( it’s what I’d planned to do while Eric took Sam to the doctor’s.  Then last night I was helped Eric Hansen put a hitch on our van – because when you’re the Young Men’s president it’s important to have a hitch 😉 ) Luckily everyone woke up at a relatively decent time and I had all three kids ready before 8:25 and even remembered to text my friend whose son I usually walk to the bus stop on Tuesday to see if she could find someone else to walk him.  Good start!  We got all of our groceries and our W snack (wheat thins and gummy worms), but of course before we could check out the boys both needed to go to the bathroom.  Since Danny is still in the process of potty training I wasn’t going to mess with that and sent them together to the men’s room while I waited with Maeli.  It’s always a little stressful to send the boys into public restrooms on their own, but that went off without event.  We got bagels for everyone for breakfast (Danny wanted the chocolate kind – aka a donut – but I was able to talk him into a blueberry bagel instead) and got everyone loaded into the car without incident.  I realized though that I’d forgotten the actual snack bucket at home.  Luckily I was scheduled to help in Sam’s class anyways so I sent Sam with one grocery bag that contained the snack and promised to bring the bucket when I came in.

When we got home Danny started whining about not wanting to go to preschool.  You need to understand that Danny’s preschool takes place in the home of our next door neighbor.  The same neighbor whose house he runs away to on average once a day.  The same house that he’s so comfortable at that I found out (to my mortification) that he will let himself in the back door, go straight to the pantry, grab himself a granola bar and just join into the conversation.  You know, someone who he really doesn’t like 😛  But because I want him to go to preschool and it isn’t his idea, he never wants to go.  I decided not to address it since that only seems to get him more upset.  I take Maeli upstairs to Eric, and pick up Danny’s preschool bag.  Danny tells me defiantly, “I’m not wearing shoes, I won’t put them on” in the apparent hope that I care enough about whether he wears shoes to get him out of going to preschool.   I don’t 🙂  So I just pick him up and carry him over while he whimpers on my shoulder.  I set him down in a chair and he stands on the table stamping his foot… and I leave.  Presumably once I leave he calmed down again pretty quick.

So, back at home it’s time for me to shower and get ready to go to Sam’s class.  I get all ready, feed Maeli and take her over to my friend’s house.  She agreed to watch Maeli and Danny while I was helping at the school but let me know that her mom would be the one doing most of the watching.  I guess she’d forgotten to tell her mom I was coming because she wasn’t expecting me, but she cheerfully took Maeli anyways and I headed off to the school.

When I walked into the office to sign in I realized that I’d left both the snack bucket and the immunization form in my car, but I decide that I’ll get them after helping.  We start doing stations and I get a text from the girl watching Danny and Maeli.  Luckily I was wearing my Pebble so I was able to glance at my watch and see it, otherwise I probably would have ignored any incoming messages until after class was over.  The text said, “Sorry to bug you… so after preschool Anna said ‘Danny you’re going to go to Kashe’s.’  Danny promptly ran home and in the door.  And locked it.  He won’t open it.  So… I know you’re coming home soon.  We’re just trying to get Danny to open it.”  My heart sunk.  Not because this was unexpected, actually I had thought through this earlier in the day and thought that I needed to make sure our front door was locked before I left… and I thought it was.  Obviously, I had forgotten.  My mind started racing through how they could get in to him, while still trying to guide the kindergartners through doing their W page in their alphabet books.  I don’t have a spare key outside or anything like that so I thought I was just sunk and I’d probably have to bug out early to go get Danny.  Then I remembered that we have a keypad on our garage so I texted back our garage code.  My friend was able to get in and find Danny, who had come inside and was hysterical because (obviously) no one was home.  She showed Danny the text from me that I’d be coming home soon and I guess that was enough to convince him to go to his friend’s house (all of 4 doors down) of his own accord.

Once Sam was packed up we hurried out to the van, grabbed the snack bucket and immunization record to bring back into the school.  Returned both of those items to where they needed to go and turned in my visitors badge.  We got back to pick up Danny and Maeli.  Crystal tells me about their adventure with Danny (she was supposed to still be asleep since she’s a nurse and is working tonight).  She also tells me how Maeli cried at her mom every time she would look at her while I was gone 🙁  While we’re talking my phone keeps ringing from the school, but I decide they can leave a message and I’ll call back when I get home.  Sam however didn’t agree with that plan and answered it for me.  So while I’m loading kids into the car I’m talking to the school nurse.  She tells me that the paper I brought in was not sufficient and that Sam had 3 shots to get, not just 1.  My brain is a little frazzled but I remember that there should be two separate immunization records in Sam’s folder – one that has most of his shots, and another that records the two shots he’d received earlier this year.  She put me on hold and was able to find that, but I still need to get her an actual immunization record, and not the receipt saying he’s received the immunization, for the shot he received yesterday.  At this point I sort of feel like I should have expected that and agree to get her the right thing and hang up.

The Moral of the Story

So, as you might imagine, I’ve spent a lot of time lately feeling like I look in that picture at the top – e x h a u s t e d.  What you might not expect though is this – I love every minute of it.  That’s not to say that I sit there in the doctor’s office while Sam’s bleeding and freaking out thinking, “Wahoo!  This is a blast!” but I wouldn’t trade those crazy experiences for anything.  I love being involved and helping out and doing what I can do to help make this world a better place.  I am so grateful to have the opportunity to raise these kids and have these crazy adventures.  This is what life is all about, and even though it’s tiring, and messy, and stressful – it’s also wonderful, and exhilirating, and joyous!  I love being there in Sam’s class and hearing about how he’s well liked and polite.  I love seeing Danny’s face light up as he comes home from preschool because he’s excited to show me all the cool things he’s done.  I love watching Maeli discover new things and learn new tricks.  I can honestly say that when people look and tell me, “Looks like your hands are full” I can truthfully answer, “but so is my heart.”

In Doctrine & Covenants 58:27 we read, “Verily I say, men [and women!] should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;”  At the end of the day I may be totally worn out and able to fall asleep as fast as this little girl –

But, I’m also able to answer the question, “Have I Done Any Good in the World Today” with a loud and resounding – YES!  And that’s the best feeling I could ask for.

So while I appreciate the urgings from friends that I can just say no to more things and to take more time to take care of myself… I don’t plan to slow down.  I’m involved in a lot, but I’m happy being busy.  The things I do might not always be done as well as I would like, or as quickly as I would like, but I’m happy to be able to do them.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take care of Maeli.  I’m not sure what she’s gotten into but despite having been inside all day, and having showered this morning… she suddenly smells like dog poop.  While I investigate what she found and get her cleaned up you can enjoy this video that I think will speak to anyone who has found themselves in the midst of adventures like mine.

(If the video won’t play here try this link instead)

Eric was right, when he posted his highs and lows I was already working on this post. My heart is very full so there was no way this was going to be a short post. What can I say? I grew up wanting to be a novelist, not a newspaper columnist! 😛 I hope that at least my family members will read the whole thing as the highs are all about you guys and I want you to know how much I love you all 🙂

Low: Forgetting my wallet at home on Saturday morning and not having my recommend to go to the temple for Taylor’s endowment. Although, as you’ll read below, because of this ultimately low moment, many of my highs were given so much more meaning.

High: The entire weekend. Friday night it was really fun putting together the bridal shower for Taylor. I like getting to organize things with mom and I was really excited to get to hold the shower for Taylor. I’m so grateful to have her as my sister, she brings sunshine everywhere she goes and truly is a party in a box 🙂 It was fun to have the shower, even if we were running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to get everything put together in time! It was all worth it though to see so many of our friends and family that night, and be able to celebrate Taylor’s upcoming wedding… and getting to show Samuel off was a plus too 🙂

I think the funnest part of the shower was showing the video we made of Ryan. We played a game where we asked Ryan a bunch of questions about himself and Taylor before the shower and recorded his answers. Then during the shower we played the video, but we paused before each of his answers to quiz Taylor to see if her answers matched up with his. If she got an answer wrong (or just different from Ryan), we made her chew a piece of gum. She did pretty well, but she did end up with 4 or 5 pieces of gum before the game was over! Mad props to Eric for filming it and for adding all of the fun effects to the video!

The next morning Eric, Samuel and I went to the baptism of our nephew Elias. It is always so neat to celebrate when a child chooses to join the church. It reminds me of my own baptism and the covenants I’ve made. I also am reminded of the great blessing it is to have the knowledge that we have and how fortunate we for the direction it gives us in our lives. Of course, the lunch at Mike and Marianela’s afterward was awesome as well 🙂 . I think I’ll say this at least 10 more times in this post but I *love* spending time with family. There’s nothing else like it in the world. I feel so blessed that Eric and I both have such wonderful families.

After the baptism we went to Salt Lake to attend the temple as Taylor received her endowment. As we were hopping in the car I had the impression to double check that I had my wallet. I couldn’t think why I would have taken it out but I followed that prompting and searched the diaper bag – no wallet. Usually I check for my recommend at least 5 times before leaving the house if I’m going to the temple. However, since I’d had 3 hours of sleep the night before and we’d been racing to get out the door for Elias’ baptism that step had been neglected all 5 times :P. I felt so ill when I realized that I didn’t have it. I’d just renewed my recommend that week since it had expired the week before. I don’t want to say that I renewed it then *for* going through the temple with Taylor since the reason to renew my recommend was to have a current recommend. Particularly because of this challenge given by President Howard W. Hunter:

…I invite the Latter-day Saints to look to the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of your membership. It is the deepest desire of my heart to have every member of the Church worthy to enter the temple. It would please the Lord if every adult member would be worthy of—and carry—a current temple recommend. The things that we must do and not do to be worthy of a temple recommend are the very things that ensure we will be happy as individuals and as families.

(President Howard W. Hunter, “‘Exceeding Great and Precious Promises’,” Ensign, Nov 1994, 7)

Anyways, even though it wasn’t the reason for renewing my recommend, it was what lit a fire under me to get it immediately. Anyways, Eric took over driving so I could try to track down our bishop to see if he could call the temple and verify that I was worthy to attend the temple. I couldn’t get a hold of him at any of the numbers I tried. So, Eric dropped me off at the temple to try and work things out before taking Samuel to his parents’ apartment (they watched Sam while we were at the temple – Thanks Mom & Dad Hansen!). When I got to the recommend desk I explained what had happened to the temple workers there and they called for a member of the temple presidency to come help me out. Fortunately, because the church now makes our recommend number part of our church record they were able to verify that I had a current recommend! I was so grateful that I was able to go and attend that special ordinance with my sister.

In a way I’m a little bit glad that I didn’t have my recommend because it made me stop and think about some things a little bit differently. I had several different thoughts during that experience which I wanted to share. I’m sorry if this post gets a bit scattered. The temple is so symbolic and a lot of the experiences I had were also symbolic in my mind. One of the cool and frustrating things about symbolic things is that they can have so many different meanings depending on how you look at them. I’ve thought through this experience a lot so I’ve found lots of different meanings and I feel like I should share them all, even if they don’t necessarily all go together.

I think pretty much anyone who knows me is not surprised by the fact that I managed to get all the way to the temple without my recommend – I’ve always been rather scatterbrained. Of course, I think they’re also not surprised that I was able to work it out. My mom calls it “pulling a Brittny”. Somehow despite my disorganization and scatterbrainedness I seem to be able to pull off things like that. My mom is convinced that there is a huge crew of guardian angels just running in circles around me trying to keep me in tact 😛 These moments are where I get a phrase that some of my friends have heard me say many times – “Not only does God love me, but he likes me… and he thinks I’m pretty :)” Of course, I don’t really believe that God likes me anymore than anyone else, but these moments are some of those tender mercies that remind me that He is concerned with me personally and even in the silly little things that are important to me.

One thing that I noticed was how interested my family is in me. By the time that I made it into the chapel my whole family had heard what had happened (it took me a bit longer to get dressed as my temple dress doesn’t quite fit as well post-pregnancy, although not in the way you might expect…) and was there (very reverently) cheering for me and so excited that I was able to be there. I felt very loved that they would all be there to care for me like that.

It also made me think of the Atonement. Even though I had screwed up and fully deserved to not be admitted to the temple that day, there I was. Likewise, all of us have made mistakes in our own lives that would render us unable to enter the Celestial Kingdom. However, our Savior, Jesus Christ, has made it possible that despite all of our shortcomings and stupid mistakes, we can receive those blessings anyways if we are striving to live the commandments and make His Atonement part of our life. I am always so humbled when I realize how much I do not deserve the blessings of the Atonement but that Christ is willing to give them to me anyways.

When I got to the chapel Eric had saved a seat for me and we were sitting with my dad and Ryan. I mentioned to dad that I probably wouldn’t get to sit with my mom and Taylor during the session. I was a little bit sad about that because I really wanted to not just be in the session with Taylor but to actually be WITH her as she was receiving these very sacred ordinances. When I mentioned this to my dad he said “If I know your mom, she’ll have a seat saved for you.” I didn’t expect too much though since I wasn’t sure that the temple workers would allow for saved seats. However my dad was right! Sure enough, as I walked into the endowment room, my mom found me and motioned that she had a seat for me with them! I was really excited to get to be with my mom and Taylor at this time.

While we were sitting waiting for the session to start I had a few more thoughts. I was so excited that Taylor was finally able to be there with us. The temple is such a sacred and wonderful place and I was so thrilled to have her there to share it with us. I loved being able to look across and see Eric and dad and Ryan in that room with us as well. I wish I could adequately explain the feelings I had. It was like what I imagine we would feel like to all be together in heaven, which I guess is appropriate since that’s what the temple is supposed to symbolize. There was such a sweet and wonderful feeling about having all of us together there and especially having Taylor join us for the first time.

The excitement of having Taylor there made me so desperate to have the rest of our family there. I felt like Lehi did in the vision of The Tree of Life. Once I had received these blessings for myself and tasted of their sweetness I wanted to share it with my family.

11 And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.

12 And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.

– 1 Nephi 8:11-12

As excited as I was to have as many of us there as we did, my soul yearned to have my brothers there as well. I can’t wait for the day that we’ll all be able to sit in the temple as a family and knowing that we can all be together forever. It also made me look forward to the day that we get to take our own sweet Samuel to the temple to receive his endowment. I know that day is a long way off, but I am already anxiously anticipating it. I can think of nothing sweeter than to be with my family in the temple.

Also, as I saw the seat that mom had saved for me another thought ran through my head. What if I hadn’t been able to work things out at the recommend desk and had missed out on being there? Obviously, I would have been devastated to have to sit outside while my family was participating in such an amazing experience. But I also thought of how it would have made my mom and Taylor feel. They had that seat saved for me because they wanted me to be there with them, and if I hadn’t shown up I’m sure they would have been sad. I think it will be much that way when we get to the other side. As I mentioned before, I’m so excited to get to share these blessings with my brothers and son someday, but even more so to be with them forever in the eternities. I can only imagine how my heart would break to be there on the other side “saving a seat” for family members who I love so dearly, and to have any of them not show up. As great as my joy and rejoicing would be for all of those who did make it, I can still imagine the empty feelings I would have for those members who didn’t. I dearly hope that I will never have to know that sadness.

On Sunday we had Samuel’s baby blessing, which was another transcendent experience. I know that because of Eric’s and my temple sealing he was born in the covenant and already ours forever, but it seemed like this ordinance somehow made it more official. That feeling was only magnified because we had been in the temple the night before and I’d had an opportunity to reflect on the eternal nature of our family. I am incredibly grateful that Eric and I made the choices we did so that we can have our family sealed to us forever. Nothing else in this world is as valuable to me as that blessing. Not to sound morbid, but without it, I don’t know how anything else in this world would really matter. Our family is my greatest joy and I can think of nothing more wonderful than to be with them forever. It is what makes every day of trying to live righteously worthwhile.

I was also reminded once again of what a blessing it is to have a worthy and righteous priesthood holder for my husband. I can’t even describe how grateful I am for the power of the priesthood and the blessing it is in our home. It brings so much peace to me to know that Eric is worthy to act in the role of blessing our family through the power of God. What an awesome responsibility that is for him to live worthy of. I’m so grateful for him always striving to live worthy of that responsibility so that he can bless our lives. I’m likewise grateful for the power of the priesthood and that God does entrust His worthy sons with the authority to act in His name to bless His children. What amazing love our Heavenly Father has for us.

I was also grateful to be able to see all the other worthy priesthood holders in our family who were able to participate in this sacred ordinance. I was grateful to see both of our dads and my grandpa in the circle, and to remember that great heritage of faithfulness and worthiness. I was also grateful to see so many of my brothers-in-law and my cousin who were able to participate. What a powerful force it is to have those men in our family. I am so glad that my own son has these great men to look up to in his life. I hope that he can emulate their example.

Also, I was grateful for all of our friends and family coming to celebrate our Samuel. I’m so thankful to have this cute baby, and amazed by the trust that Heavenly Father has placed upon me to be his mother. Words cannot describe the love that I have for him. I don’t think anyone can understand the love that a mother has for her children unless they are a mother, and I’m sure that even I only know the smallest part of that love. Perhaps fathers can understand that love, but I think that mothers and fathers feel it and show it in different ways. Not that one is better than the other, but I think that they are different and supposed to be so. It’s part of what makes families so awesome is how mothers and fathers bring different pieces into the family. I love this kid more and more every day and want all of the best things for him. I want to be the very best mother that I can be and hopefully be a good example to him. I hope that he will live worthy of the blessings that were pronounced upon him yesterday by his father. He is a special child of our Heavenly Father and I hope he remembers that every day.

Before I wrap up this post I want to make a proposal to everyone in our family. Let’s agree not to have any empty seats when we get to the other side. I plan to be there and saving a seat for every single one of you, and my heart will be broken if ANY of you aren’t there. I hope you all know just how much I love you and that I am pulling for all of you to be there in the celestial kingdom so we can realize the blessing of our eternal family. I would do anything in my power to make that blessing a reality. It’s what gives me the strength to live righteously every day.

With lots of love,
-Brittny