Author: Brittny

Featured Photo: Elder Richard G. and Sister Jeanene Scott – Image from LDS Living

After General Conference Eric casually added a calendar item on his calendar for a General Conference 40-Day Challenge.  The idea behind it is simple.  Every day for 40 days there is an assigned talk from this most recent General Conference for you to listen to/read/study as a way to keep the words of the prophets in our minds.  I liked the idea so I decided to participate as well.  It’s been really great because rather than the full deluge of spirituality that comes with the conference I’ve had the opportunity to reflect on each of the talks in turn and really focus on the things that stood out to me in each one.  As I was listening to today’s talk I remembered a  favorite moment from conference that I wanted to share.

Today’s talk was Elder Richard G. Scott’s talk entitled “I Have Given You an Example”.  This was the part that I especially liked –

[As] I was about to graduate from the university, I fell in love with a beautiful young woman named Jeanene Watkins. I thought she was beginning to have some deep feelings for me also. One night when we were talking about the future, she carefully wove into the discussion a statement that changed my life forever. She said, “When I marry, it will be to a faithful returned missionary in the temple.”

I hadn’t thought much about a mission before then. That night my motivation to consider missionary service changed dramatically. I went home, and I could think of nothing else. I was awake all night long. I was completely distracted from my studies the next day. After many prayers I made the decision to meet with my bishop and begin my missionary application.

Jeanene never asked me to serve a mission for her. She loved me enough to share her conviction and then gave me the opportunity to work out the direction of my own life.

As I heard this simple story I thought to myself, what if Sister Scott hadn’t decided to make that simple statement of convictions to Elder Scott at that pivotal time in his life?  How would the church and the world be different, not to mention Elder Scott himself?  Now, that isn’t to say that Elder Scott would have turned out to be some maniacal criminal without mission experience or anything like that.  There’s every reason to believe he could have gone on to be a faithful wonderful person and done lots of great things.  But I would wager that he would not be the man he is today, and having the influence he does worldwide without that experience.  And perhaps he would have never had it without the simple prompting from a valiant young woman.  Elder Scott’s personal sense of gentle authority has long made him one of my favorite apostles (ok ok, so they all get a turn being my favorite when they come to the pulpit, but all for very different reasons).  When he looks at you as he’s speaking you feel like he can see into the depths of you.  I’m positive even extremely good people walk away and think “I need to do better!  I can be better!”  He gives off almost the sense of…. I want to say disappointment, but it’s not that.  Just the sense that you can do more and be more than you are and you just don’t want to let him down.  The church needs an Elder Scott to fill that role.  Sure, if it wasn’t him perhaps there would be someone else who would have also done an excellent job, but I’m sure not quite in the same way and that makes me sad to think about.

As I reflected on that it made me think more fervently about the influence I have in simple moments every day as a mother, a sister, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a neighbor, a Cub Scout Committee chairperson, a person sitting on the bench at the park, a member of a Sunday School class, a visiting teacher, a Facebook friend etc.  Am I living my life in such a way that I might use those small teaching moments to help someone reach a higher potential than they might otherwise?  How can I do better to uplift others and point them to righteous paths?  I want to be more like Sister Scott and instead of saying, “Eh, you know what?  Richard is going to be just fine the way he is, he’s a good guy!  It doesn’t really matter if he does this one thing right now, he’ll still turn out fine.”  I want to instead say, “How can I help this person to make the very best decision to help them reach their fullest potential?  They shouldn’t settle, they can be awesome!  Let’s help make them awesome!”

Of course, that attitude should be tempered with the next part, which was that we allow people to take their life in the direction that they choose.  I’m not at all proposing making decisions for another person, or judging them for making a different decision than I would have chosen.  But if I can influence someone to do better and be more, then I want to put myself in the position to do just that.

Today I’m featuring a guest post from one of the most amazing women I know – Kerry Anderson.  Kerry is a meteorologist and the mother of five children.  Oh, and the oldest of those children is me 😉  Growing up I remember being really proud of my mom as a feminist.  She graduated with a Bachelor’s in meteorology and is currently pursuing her master’s degree.  She often talked about how hard it was being the only woman in her science classes and pursuing a route that not many women took at that time.  This was certainly an inspiration to me later in life as I pursued computer programming.  I remember my mom always sticking up for women and particularly for their position within the church.  I always thought of her as being super progressive.  It wasn’t until I was in high school that I realized that my mom didn’t exactly fit the ultra-feminist mold.  While she worked outside the home in my younger years, she always made sure to find a schedule that would allow her to be with her children and support my dad in his church callings.  When we moved to the west coast she gave up that career and opted to be a full-time stay-at-home mom.  Not exactly a bra-burning feminist.  However, I still think of her as a role model of a feminist in their truest form – one who is fighting for women’s opportunities, recognition of women’s abilities to contribute and, women’s place in society, particularly in the most feminine role of all – that of a mother.  She shared this essay with me and I thought it was brilliant, so I asked for her permission to post it on my blog.  Enjoy 🙂

As General Conference approaches there seems to be a lot of talk about the Ordain Women Movement.  A friend told me that she has been reading blogs from other LDS women that discuss the movement and the list of privileges that they know are being withheld from LDS women.   She seemed restless and agitated and wanted my opinion on whether it was worthwhile reading them.  Many in the movement say that they are “agitating peacefully” but it has been my experience that agitating does not bring peace.

As she commented on how she felt it made me reflect on my own experience in this church as someone who has struggled with feelings that church leadership did not fully empower women.  I have attended many Young Women’s meetings where we have been told that we are daughters of a “King”.  I know that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father but as a woman I yearn to hear that I am a daughter of a “Queen” and to have a Heavenly female role model.  In my search for greater understanding of the female role I have spent time reading papers written by others who were agitating for change.  The more I read the more certain I was that the prevailing view of the female role in the LDS church was not fully enlightened and that there were more privileges and powers available to women.  This caused me to feel agitated and frustrated with my current status.  At the same time my husband and I were increasingly called to positions of greater responsibility within the church.  I came to a point that I was so frustrated and agitated that I no longer thought that I could continue attending.

This was a very private and difficult struggle.  While going through this a family member mentioned something that made me stop and think.  They related an experience where someone else was struggling with a different doctrine and that they had been told that “Heavenly Father would never create a doctrine to make us unhappy.”  At this point in my life I felt conflicted and unhappy.  The more I read and dwelt on the supposed injustices the more unhappy I felt.  I decided to listen to this piece of advice and to act in faith and start believing that by fulfilling my role as a wife, mother and woman in this church that I could be happy.  I laid aside the literature that I was reading and got back to focusing on scripture reading and serving.

As I acted in faith and stopped agitating I have found the most profound happiness.  I have actively sought to find understanding of my role by attending the temple, praying and trusting in my Heavenly Father and my church leaders.  Instead of reading and finding faults, I recognize that our church has imperfections because the church is led and built by humans. I know I haven’t always got it right when I have been called to lead.  But with compassion and humility we can listen to one another and build together.

My husband has a poem that he learned on his mission that has made me think about how criticism of church leadership can hurt our church.

I watched them tearing a building down,
A gang of men in a busy town.
With a ho-heave-ho and lusty yell,
They swung a beam and a side wall fell.
I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled,
Men you’d hire if you had to build?”
He gave me a laugh and said, “No indeed!
Just common labor is all I need.
I can easily wreck in a day or two
What builders have taken years to do.”
And I thought to myself as I went my way,
Which of these roles do I try to play?
Am I a builder who works with care,
Measuring life by the rule and square?
Shaping my deeds with a well-made plan,
Patiently doing the best I can?
Or am I a wrecker who walks the town,
Content with the labor of tearing down?

I am grateful for the privilege of being a part of “Building” the Kingdom of God.  I live at a time where I have access to the exalting ordinances of the Priesthood through the Temple. My ancestors did not have that privilege.  I want to spend my time building this Kingdom rather than tearing down this church.  There is so much work to do and as I work I find greater peace and joy.  Having complete faith and supporting church leadership has brought me that joy.

Do I still think and feel that there is more to be revealed about the role of women in the eternities? Absolutely.  But what I have found is that I have gained a greater understanding about those roles as I have fully participated in Temple Ordinances and as I have faith that the Lord would never create an organization that would make me unhappy. I pray for the day that we will have a greater understanding of the female role in the Eternities. What I have found though is that agitation and criticism of church leaders brings me discontent and unhappiness. Conversely I have found that prayer, focused effort on building the Kingdom of God and temple attendance have a greater ability to bring change. I want to be known as one who has spent my time and energy here on this earth building the Kingdom of God not one who did anything to tear it down.

Featured image: Job Rebuked by His Friends, by William Blake. Image courtesy of Wikipedia

This week I read the Book of Job as part of my scripture reading.  A few things really impressed me about the book that I wanted to share.

The first is that this man, who was known to be a just and good man before his trials came, was mocked and ridiculed by those who were supposed to have been his friends.  I hadn’t realized this before about the book, but most of the book is spent with these “friends” telling Job that he must have done something wrong.  That he must be secretly evil and doing bad things and obviously this is why he was having all these trials come upon him.  I’ve often heard this book referenced as the quintessential example of bad things happening to good people.  However, I’ve never really considered that it is also a guideline for how we ought to treat people who are facing trials.  In Job 16:4-5 Job is addressing his friends who are telling him that he needs to repent and telling him that he must be a bad person and Job says-

4 I also could speak as ye do: if your soul were in my soul’s stead, I could heap up words against you, and shake mine head at you.

5 But I would strengthen you with my mouth, and the moving of my lips should assuage your grief.

I really liked that simple passage.  He says, “Yeah, if our roles were reversed I could do like you’re doing and add to your grief.  But instead I would try to strengthen you and build you up rather than tear you down.”  I think this is sometimes a hard balance for us to reach.  On the one hand, we ought to call out those things that are wrong and evil in life, and encourage others to remove such things from their lives.   However, we need to also be careful to use our words in ways that help to build people up rather than tear them down – even if they have done something wrong.  Rather than assuming the worst in people we should be ever striving to help them become their best.

The other thing that really stuck out to me is the idea that even when we are righteous it doesn’t always mean that we will be given the blessings we think we want or deserve.  It can be really easy to look at the things we have and say “I have great kids/a great job/a wonderful spouse etc. because the Lord loves me and has blessed me because I am righteous.”  While it is true that the Lord loves us, and often we receive such blessings as a direct result of our righteous actions, the receipt of blessings isn’t the reason to be righteous.  Furthermore, the lack of those blessings isn’t a mark of unrighteousness.  I think we need to be sensitive about how we express our gratitude for blessings publicly and be careful not to imply that other people don’t have the same blessings because they have done something wrong.  Someone who had struggled with infertility once mentioned that they felt hurt whenever someone would bear their testimony and mention the blessing they had received of having children.  To the person struggling with infertility they felt like this was a rebuke against them, that clearly they weren’t righteous enough to have the same blessing.  While I don’t think it is wrong to express gratitude for our blessings (in fact, we’re taught that failing to be grateful is one of the worst things we could do), we just need to be aware of how we express that gratitude and be sure it is not in a way that implies that we deserved such a blessing because of our righteousness.  We deserve none of our blessings – that’s what makes them blessings.  As King Benjamin taught –

20 I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another—

21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

Another aspect of that is that I think we need to be as grateful for the things we don’t have as the things that we do have. I want to be better at adopting the attitude Job expresses in Job 1:21 –

21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

While I’m sure Job would have been very grateful for his children to still be alive, his possessions to have remained in tact, and to have not had sores I think it is impressive that Job blesses the name of the Lord even in the taking away of his blessings.  The Lord doesn’t spare us from all the things that are hard in this life because it is through those hard experiences that we learn and grow and become like Him.  In a talk that he gave in April Conference of 1991 Elder Neal A. Maxwell made this astute observation –

Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, “Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!”

I think we need to be careful that we don’t limit the Lord to only blessing us with good things, but also recognize when He blesses us with trials, because it is only through those trials that we grow and become stronger.

While it would be dishonest of me to say that I hope to have the same kinds of experiences as Job, I certainly hope that I can be more like Job in the way that I face the experiences I am given, and remember to treat others who are facing trials with the compassion he was not shown.